Sunday, 24 February 2013

Running long enough

Last Sunday I pushed myself to get up early at 6:30am to go running and do my laundry. I needed to get some exercise, especially cardio. Things had been moving so fast, I hadn’t had the chance to stop and reflect yet. I planned to run for an hour, but cleaning up and getting there took a bit longer than I had planned so I only ran for 45 minutes.

Hart House was basically empty other than a few people on treadmills. As my feet hit the track and my music started playing, I felt my thoughts begin to pour out. It seemed like despite how fast I was moving physically, my mind slowed down; the kind of feeling you get when you’re lying in bed thinking those thoughts you do right before you fall asleep.

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I like running because I know I've accomplished something when my muscles feel sore and tighter. And when I run, I think…a lot.

The music begins to fade.

And before I know it, two or three songs have played and I have no recollection of which ones they were.

The longer I run, the more I think.

If you think for long enough, realities begin to kick in.

Truths start to pour out.

So.

Why don’t marathon runners ever cry?


I remember when I trained for track, seven minutes to run a mile felt like forever at times. A hundred metres more than the actual race.

I used to wonder what I should be thinking when the gun blasts and the runners begin to dash for the front of the pack. Fifteen hundred metres is a long time.

Positive thoughts.

But, that’s not even specific.

I can think that I’m going to turn the first corner before that girl in the blue shirt, but that thought doesn't keep me occupied for six and a half minutes.

I suppose there’s more to think about when you’re training and there’s more to see than just the stands and the spectators for almost four times around the four hundred metre track.


Why don’t they? What do you think about if you’re running in a race for hours?

Surely, you can’t be marveling at the scenery. But I’m sure strategies don’t keep you occupied for that long.

As I ran, I felt more and more at ease. Deeper in thought. I used to wonder how people could run for so long. This is why.

The more I ran, the more my emotions began to surface.

Running is honest.

Sometimes too much so.

There’s not much one can do to be a better runner than lots of practice.

There’s nothing one can do to win the race than to run faster.

There’s nothing to hide.


As the music played, the lyrics of one song struck me. Exactly how I was feeling. In words.

I think it’s supposed to happen more often when listening to music explains your thoughts exactly, but for me, not really so.

(Although that might also have to do with the fact that I haven’t broken up with anyone in December, been dumped over the phone or watched my neighbour who also happens to be the love of my life date some jerk—I don’t think my neighbours even have kids over the age of ten either—like Taylor Swift. Nor have I had celebrity boyfriend that I broke up with whom I can write songs about. I mean...I don’t even sing :P)

This was never one of my favourite songs, but I couldn't help but replay it over and over again. The italicized lines are the ones that stuck out to me the most.


I wish I didn't feel so helpless, wish I didn't act so selfish
Wish I didn't wring my hands night and day
My hair was a little bit smoother, my jeans fit a little bit looser
And I always knew the right things to say

I wish I wouldn't hide what’s been going on inside
And I wish you wouldn't get scared and run away

I wish I was doing better with all the things that matter
I guess I got some learning to do (...literally)
Wish everyone had someone to hold ‘em and to love ‘em
The way I’m always gonna love You
I wish wishes came true


I wish there was a cure to cancer, I wish somebody had an answer
I wish I was more like Jesus so I could pick up all the pieces

And all God's children never got hurt

I wish Eve never bit that apple, young men never went to battle
And I didn't get so mad at the world


I wish by Point of Grace


I also wish I was more in shape so I could run for longer.


The music video's not my favourite, but just listen to the song?


Apologies for the terrible writing in this post as well; it sounded much better inside my head.
Also, this was a super super long post, so if you've read all of it, you must either like me a lot or have too much time on your hands. 
Thank you.


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