Hart House was basically
empty other than a few people on treadmills. As my feet hit the track and my
music started playing, I felt my thoughts begin to pour out. It seemed like
despite how fast I was moving physically, my mind slowed down; the kind of
feeling you get when you’re lying in bed thinking those thoughts you do right
before you fall asleep.
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I like running because I
know I've accomplished something when
my muscles feel sore and tighter. And when I run, I think…a
lot.
The music begins to
fade.
And before I know it,
two or three songs have played and I have no recollection of which ones they
were.
The longer I run, the
more I think.
If you think for long
enough, realities begin to kick in.
Truths start to pour
out.
So.
Why don’t marathon
runners ever cry?
I remember when I
trained for track, seven minutes to run a mile felt like forever at times. A
hundred metres more than the actual race.
I used to wonder what I
should be thinking when the gun blasts and the runners begin to dash for the
front of the pack. Fifteen hundred metres is a long time.
Positive thoughts.
But, that’s not even
specific.
I can think that I’m
going to turn the first corner before that girl in the blue shirt, but that
thought doesn't keep me occupied for six and a half minutes.
I suppose there’s more
to think about when you’re training and there’s more to see than just the
stands and the spectators for almost four times around the four hundred metre
track.
Why don’t they? What do
you think about if you’re running in a race for hours?
Surely, you can’t be marveling at the scenery. But I’m sure strategies don’t keep you occupied for
that long.
As I ran, I felt more
and more at ease. Deeper in thought. I used to wonder how people could run for
so long. This is why.
The more I ran, the more
my emotions began to surface.
Running is honest.
Sometimes too much so.
There’s not much one can
do to be a better runner than lots of practice.
There’s nothing one can
do to win the race than to run faster.
There’s nothing to hide.
As the music played, the
lyrics of one song struck me. Exactly how I was feeling. In words.
I think it’s supposed to
happen more often when listening to music explains your thoughts exactly, but for
me, not really so.
(Although that might
also have to do with the fact that I haven’t broken up with anyone in December,
been dumped over the phone or watched my neighbour who also happens to be the
love of my life date some jerk—I don’t think my neighbours even have kids over
the age of ten either—like Taylor Swift. Nor have I had celebrity boyfriend that I broke up with whom I can write songs about. I mean...I don’t even sing :P)
This was never one of my
favourite songs, but I couldn't help but replay it over and over again. The italicized lines are the ones that stuck out to me the most.
I wish I didn't feel so
helpless, wish I didn't act so
selfish
Wish I didn't wring my
hands night and day
My hair was a little bit
smoother, my jeans fit a little bit looser
And I always knew the right things
to say
I wish I wouldn't hide
what’s been going on inside
And I wish you wouldn't get scared and run away
I wish I was doing better
with all the things that matter
I guess I got some
learning to do (...literally)
Wish everyone had
someone to hold ‘em and to love ‘em
The way I’m always gonna love You
I wish wishes came true
I wish there was a cure to cancer, I wish somebody had an answer
I wish I was more like Jesus so I could pick up all the pieces
And all God's children never got hurt
I wish Eve never bit that apple, young men never went to battle
And I didn't get so mad at the world
I wish by Point of Grace
I also wish I was more in shape so I could run for longer.
The music video's not my favourite, but just listen to the song?
Apologies for the terrible writing in this post as well; it sounded much better inside my head.
Also, this was a super super long post, so if you've read all of it, you must either like me a lot or have too much time on your hands. Thank you.
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