Fix me

*Note: I wrote this one on January 26, but I was too scared to post, but now that it's been some time, it's not as hard to post it nor as meaningful  In another sense, it's not as fresh as it was the day I wrote it, so I feel less vulnerable. Please forgive the lateness and the cheesiness, I was never quite finished with this one.


Goodbye.

I feel like all I've been saying lately are goodbyes.

Today it was "Goodbye J."

Goodbye J. When will we be in the same country again? I miss being in kindergarten.

Bye. Don't cry, I'll be home in a month. I miss your cooking.

Bye. I hope you have a great birthday. I miss our two hour car rides every day.

Bye. Don't grow up too fast. I miss you telling me how I suck at using technology.

Bye. Sometimes, I wish I didn't leave. I miss being close.

Bye. You amaze me. I miss seeing your stylishness each Sunday morning and your cakes.

Bye. I do wonder what it would be like to go to school with you. I miss teaching with you.

Bye. You are blessed with so much potential that you have yet to realize. I miss you driving me crazy.

Bye. You have blossomed into a beautiful dancer and young lady. I miss our early morning talks.

Bye. I am still astounded when I think back to that insane month of February. I miss rehearsals with you.


Most of my goodbyes are for a distance of 452 kilometres.
Compared to some people, that's nothing.

But, sometimes, it doesn't matter how far. Being separated at all is hard enough.

This time was different.

I didn't want to come back here. I didn't want to say goodbye.

And as I sit here with your suitcase, I wish you had come along to  deliver it.

So I could say-

Goodbye.
Don't leave.
Come back.

I miss you.


Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Someone, fix me.