Overwhelming love

Do you ever have times in your life when you realize, when it hits you hard in the face and knocks you out, that you are so unbelievably loved?

I don't mean romantically or friendships.

The kind of love where you feel as if you're drowning. But in the best way possible.

I'm talking about family.

It's funny how family makes one feel.

Sometimes, I want to yell and scream Why doesn't it get through your head?! or Stop telling me what to do! or Why do you not try?


Mom, why do you keep acting like we're so close, when we hardly speak the same language?
Mom, stop telling me that we used to play together when we were four. I'm not four anymore. And we never got along anyways; not one time, except last summer, did we manage to stay out of a fight.


Sometimes, I want to cry. Why are things the way they are? Why did you have to tear things apart? Why can't you be here when everyone else is celebrating with their families?


What will happen to us when we're grown?
Will we stay in touch when it's not up to our parents to bring us to visit?


Seldom do I feel in touch.

But through the joyous screams of "It's Jia Jia!," my grandma's content chuckle and chattery background; I felt in touch.

In between my uncles' jokes and my aunts' worrying, I heard my cousins screaming in the background, asking me about school. And I screamed back, asking about those roses she received for her birthday and how his high school exam preparation is going and how her studies are.

Xin nian hao Jia Jia jie jie! I hope you have a blessed year and grow more beautiful!

You too, dear. Please don't grow up too fast.

As I stood in the stairwell, the phone at the other end of the line was passed from Shu Shu to Da Ye, from Nai Nai to Ting Ting jie jie, from Rui Qi to Hao Yi, from little Xing Xing to Ting Ting Jie Jie and back to Shu Shu and then to Xiao Shen and Da Niang, from Gu Gu to Xiao Gu Ye and, I think, to Da Gu as well.

It struck me suddenly that I wanted to be there too.

As people walked through the doors to go up or downstairs, I wanted to scream.

Look at me. I am so blessed.

Happy New Year!

Wishing all of you a very happy Chinese New Year!

I hope you have many blessings in the year of the snake :)

Spend time with your family, call your parents, grandparents and relatives. They really do appreciate it.